Everything right now just feels beautiful. Continuity now flows instead of dragging on; every second is precious and hopeful and not filled with anxiety for the future to come; rather, I look to the future as a present even more of a gift than what I’m experiencing this moment, I see more opportunities to seize. If something is wrong with today I can change it. I have that power, that internal locus of control to reach the self actualization I thought could only be granted to the luckiest and happiest of people — I didn’t know that that could be achieved despite circumstance, that anyone can rise above predicament and survive and come out even stronger than others lucky.
I’d always dreamed of the phrase, “Everyday is an adventure” and tried to imagine what it would feel like, tried to pretend that that was what I was feeling and the same tedious tasks were actually new, because someday things would be different.
Now I sleep like a log, swathed in the blankets I used to toss and turn it, feeling content at the end of the day with events that feel like years ago once I dream under the stars. Now the possibilities really feel endless, rather than me forcing myself to think that the possibilities are endless.
Whatever the future has in store for me, I’ll meet it with grace and honor. I’ll finish everything to the end, to the best possible perfection I can manage.
This is not just better than before. This is new, it’s brand new, it’s so different that the two can’t even be compared. Right now I see the world through yet another lens, another perspective and it completely redefines the story I thought I knew so well. The new side to things makes me realize there’s so much more I didn’t know, and after having experienced this I better understand, yet I know I still have a long way to go. The road still continues; I doubt it’ll ever be finished. But I’ll work so that the journey and everything around me is beautiful, so that when the time comes the trials will all have been worth it.