“If you knew that, then why didn’t you do it?”

My hesitation allows for an awkward moment of silence between us. The next second I crack a smile, bursting full out into a fit of giggles; not before long I look up in time to see him grinning too, my face must have been funny to him. His smile, his real one. I recognize it instantly. He doesn’t show it often, not to just anyone, but he’s shown it to me again and by gosh it’s perfect. As friendly as anything I’ve ever seen. The genuine kind, so innocent I could fawn over it all day.

I feel a little guilty. I was laughing at the boy who had made a funny comment behind him, but he doesn’t know. I smile at him anyway like he was the one who had made me smile in the first place.

“Okay, okay. I’ll let it go for now.”

“Oh, is that so?” I peer into his face, smile eternally etched on my lips. It’s funny how easily we can make up. All it takes is one small gesture and everything feels right with the world again. I take pleasure in knowing that our souls are so similar, we’re able to understand each other this well, we don’t need many words, words would contort meanings anyway. He can make me so happy, he has that potential no one else does. He’s special, to me.

Before we met I had plowed through, sheer determination, “How’d you do it?” “There’s this thing called perseverance!” But he makes the burden lighter. I didn’t need him. I could have made it without him, but he makes my journey so much better, much more enjoyable. I love having him with me. I’m grateful for all he’s done for me, he doesn’t need to and yet he does. The bad things don’t seem so bad when I’m with him, in fact we laugh about them together, knowing we can take on whatever challenges are thrown our way.

He’s not the center of my world. That wouldn’t be good. We’re still young, it’s too soon for anything so committed, so set in stone. We’re still figuring things out. But we’re figuring them out together.

Instead, he’s like a pillar. He holds me up, keeps me in place.

He is the center of my comfort, a happiness and love I otherwise would not have known.



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